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Thursday, September 29, 2005

26! ...Not A Birthday...YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Happy Anniversary to Us!

I married my best friend. We have made it 26 years but it wasn't easy. Marriage never is. It is a continuing struggle to keep it together in the midst of family, jobs, bills, crises, births, deaths, surgeries, wars, and yes, even natural disasters. We live in a recovering disaster area. We survived the Cedar Fire of 2003.

We were not married in a church. We were married under the sky, on a cliff over-looking the sea, at sunset on September 30, 1979. We did not use the traditional vows. We removed the word OBEY as marriage is a partnership and in partnerships each party is equal to the other. We chose the words from a section of Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet" and they have served us well over the years.

Our marriage has been a success because we are both honest and are hard workers. Marriage, like any relationship is hard work. We are friends who share many interests with each other. We support and encourage one another to grow and applaud that gowth as part of becoming. We balance each other in strength and skills with each of us handling what we are best at. We consider one another and treat each other with respect. We fight now and then and laugh often.

I have not mentioned love because what I have described above is love. Love is an on-going process. Love constantly changes but always remains when it is nurtured. Yes, love, and in abundance.

We are leaving today for a long weekend away at Moonlight Beach.
Happy Anniversay to You, my Ukulele Honey!

***I will not be posting for several days
.........Kitchen Window Woman.............


Blogger Brad said...


I actually just turned 26 on Sunday. Kinda crazy, hunh?

Happy anniversary!

11:03 AM  
Blogger Liquidplastic said...

You are so right! We are 36 and counting. You all have a wonderful trip ...

1:50 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Looks like the frigging spammers are after you. Turn on word verification-it helps.

In 1979 I was 16, and usually drunk or stoned. Why I lived to the age I am now, I have no clue. Certainly to hear that you have made it from there to here is both amazing and inspiring, and I am just ticked to death to be able to congratulate you.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Unadulterated Underdog said...

Congratulations! 26 years is a heck of an accomplishment in this day and age!
My hat is off to yous!

My girlfriend and I are also planning to remove certain language such as obey from our vows. Hopefully the priest won't be pissed but if so, tough luck. I guess there are always more priests eh?

Have a goood trip! CHEERS!

9:52 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

That's great. Congrats.

My wife and I were married by a Justice of the Peace in Winnemucca, Nevada more than 22 years ago.

11:56 AM  
Blogger BeatleChick81 said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!! Love you guys!!! Ah... you're well on your way to 50 years now, aren't ya (half way there...)??? Oh, I'm so proud of you guys, and I hope you're having a wonderful time celebrating in Encinitas!!!

Love ya both lots!!!


5:10 PM  
Blogger Ken Grandlund said...

I celebrate year #9 with my lovely wife this week. Not quite 26, but getting there slowly.

Congratulations KWW- you two are obvoiusly doing something right!

10:28 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Thanks, and Happy Birthday! Yep, it's a little crazy...sometimes it's a small world.

You are a year and a half older than our daughter. Our oldest son (from my first marriage) is 35 and our youngest son is 21. It is good to know that there are some young people (like you and our kids) who educate themselves about the issues and are not afraid to speak their minds!

Thanks...Wow, 36 years! Only 14 more and you'll make 50 years together. That's the big one!

We did have a wonderful trip. We spent some hours on the beach, went shopping in the little shops and
really enjoyed sitting out on the balcony watching the ocean. Best of all was a little time alone together and not having a plan.

I was wondering what those weird comments were and kept deleting them but I didn't know how to get word verification. Geewhiz...there it was right in blogger help and all I had to do was click on one button! Thanks for the advice.

And thank you for your congratulations! I am sure glad that you made it this far. "Older and wiser" has it's advantages....yours is a voice of sanity in a sea the madness and corruption that has flooded America.

Thank you for the "hats off". It is an accomplishment because it takes work to stay together, like I said. It also takes imagination and creativity.

We both thought that the traditional ceremony and vows might have meant something to someone else (like the guy who made them up..tee hee) but wanted to personalize our vows to mean something to us. I think that this strengthened our commitment to one another. Besides, after a disasterous first marriage there was no way the word OBEY was going to come out of my mouth! My husband is also not the kind of person who has to lord over someone else. He is a self-actualized man.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Thanks for the congrats! You are almost up to your 25th! I have never heard of Winnemucca, what a great name! What is it near in Nevada?

We were married by a Justice of the Peace, too. His nick name was "Marryin' Sam". He had officiated the marriage between Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall (which later ended in divorce) and legend has it many other Hollywood-type couples. He was in the phone book and inexpensive.

Thank you for your sweet message and for being kind enough to take care of the very spoiled little dog while we were gone. We did have a wonderful time and are lucky enough to have a wonderful daughter!

Next year you are at your 10th, the first big one. The years go slowly at first but then it seems that time just speeds by. Sometimes, it seems as if something that we did 15 years ago happened just last weekend!

Thanks for your congratulations. As far as doing something right, maybe it is just that some people don't work at it and their marriages die on the vine. I am glad that we have made it this far. We make a good team.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Pat Kirby said...

Much Coolness. And here I felt all cocky about hitting year 11 with my hubby.

Twenty-six! Wow. Congrats.

3:11 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Thank you for the " coolness" congrats. Hey 11 years is pretty good. You are on a roll.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Lucy Stern said...

My husband and I have been married for 34 years. We have 3 children and 2 grandchildren. I loved being a mom, but Grandmother is so much more fun. I went thru the traditional marriage in a church and it has served us well. My husband does not make me obey because he respects me as a person and we make decisions together.
Glad the two of you has some quiet time away together. Husbands and wives need that time together, no phone, no kids, just time to do what you want and not think about "normal" life at home. I love getting away every so often.

12:20 AM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Thanks for your comments. Thirty four years is pretty great. I also have three grown kids and one grandaughter. She lives too far so I missed many of her growing up years but we were able to visit with her this summer. She is a lovely girl of 14.

My husband and I have only in the last several years been able to get away at all. It is REALLY neessary. It is like recharging our individual batteries and our relationship at the same time....and restful and fun, too! We had a real good time at Moonlught Beach!

12:08 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Typo...I hate typos! I meant Moonlight beach.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Philip Del Ricci said...

Congratulations! May you have many many more happy years together.

I just discovered your BLOG today and immediately BLOGmarked it. You have a refreshing voice. Thank you for writing.

P. Del Ricci - Dark Glass

1:18 PM  

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